More to Say

When we lived in Washington, I was on and led the council of our church.  My time and effort were deeply entrenched in the leadership and operations.  I was a decision maker, teacher, arbitrator, mentor, occasional preacher, and full-time referee.  All of these things were good.  There are no negative things to say about that church.  I love the congregation and they love Jesus.

Ten months ago, my job moved my family to South Texas.  Our family found a great church in our neighborhood that loves Jesus and is growing.  We attend... mostly.  I volunteer... kinda.  We're committed to the community of believers... unless something comes up.  Personally, I've just become more of a back-seat participator our new church - enjoying my view from the cheap seats.

During these last 10 months, I've struggled with my relationship with Jesus and my opinions on the local church. Since leaving WA and getting to TX, I've suffered through the following:

1. Burn Out: Critical emails. Angry phone calls.  Passive/aggressive gossip. Back-handed compliments. Hollow praise. Leaving leadership in many ways felt like a great relief.  No one was sizing up my every move and trying to tackle me in the aisles of the grocery store.  The burden of leadership is heavy and being released from it felt like a relief.

2. Apathy: As the old saying goes, "No one wants to see how the sausage is made."  Once you know all the gory details, you can lose your appetite.   This is very true in church leadership.  You have all the makings of a firestorm if you want one - social cliques, employee relations, financial complexity, and facility maintenance (just the tip of the iceberg).  It was easy to forget the "why" when focusing on the "how".  I lost my appetite for community once I saw everything that could (and did) go wrong.

3. Laziness: Nothing complicated here.  I just didn't want to put out any effort.  My brain likes to disguise and justify this one as "freedom".  I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it.

4. Selfishness: The clergiosity words here would be pride and/or conceit.  The more I stay out of community, the more I am right all the time.  And my time belongs to me.  I am accountable to no one.  I can do whatever I want and no one calls me out on it.  Acting like I know best is one of the things I am best at doing.  I probably need to repent just for writing that last sentence.

I recently read an article that convicted me greatly about my relationship with the church. If you've never been in church leadership, it may be a bit foreign to you.  If you HAVE been in church leadership, it will nail you right in the heart.

The book of Hebrews speaks to group of people to reaffirm and clarify many things they already believe.  It ties together the Old Testament scriptures to a modern faith and establishes Jesus as the one and only true God.  In the 13th and final chapter of Hebrews, the author sums up the many points of the book and it speaks volumes to me in this season of my life.

Hebrews 13
v.1 "Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters." - It doesn't matter how I feel about community or the church.  The term "loving" here is a call to action, not a feeling.  Get off the couch, clear the schedule, re-prioritize the priorities, and move out!

v.4-5 "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" - Speaking of re-prioritizing! I will focus on my most important personal relationships and be content in my blessings. Being discontent is root of nearly every sin I have ever committed.

v.7 "Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith." - I cannot count the number of leaders that have spoken Godly truth into my life and provided righteous examples for me to follow.  This speaks to me as an unspoken accountability.  I am accountable to all those that know I can do better - and have told and shown me how to do it.

v.9 "Do not be carried away by all kinds of strange teachings." - The cow that eats onions will have milk that tastes like onions.  My eyes and my ears consume all day long.  My life will be a reflection of what I consume.

v.13 "For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come." - My pastor and mentor in WA used to tell me (and everyone) all the time: "Keep the main thing the main thing." In the big picture of community and the church and leadership, it is all fleeting.  We are here to worship Jesus, introduce others to Jesus, and grow closer in our relationship with Jesus. The focus is eternal.  It's bigger than the latest catastrophe or situation.

Doug 

 

Overdue Update!

I keep meaning to hop on here and write and update and always think....tomorrow....I will do it tomorrow....Well, 4 months worth of tomorrows have gone by and here I am:-) I am anxiously awaiting the start of the Seahawks Super Bowl game and could think of nothing better to do than write about whats been going on around here. Let's start with the kids. Bekah is doing very well. She is getting straight A's in 3rd grade and is a part of her yearbook club at school. She has made a couple of friends at school that she likes to hang out with, but definitely no one who compares with her BFF's back in Yelm. Those friends still hold her heart. She has been playing basketball and is excited about fastpitch season starting soon. JD is becoming a young man right before my very eyes. He has adjusted to the craziness of intermediate school and is making A's & B's. No clubs at school for him, but he is on a fantastic league basketball team that is currently undefeated. They have invited him to be a part of their AAU tournament team, The Hill Country Hawks, and he is excited to start that soon. Bethany is doing so well academically and socially. I've said it before and I'll say it again, this move has been fantastic for her. The schools offer so many more things that are up her alley and she has found people that she has things in common with. It's been very fun to watch her grow into a teenager. She is all registered for high school and she is hoping to be in the International Baccalaureate program. Doug's job, which is of course the reason we came down here, is going very well. He has come to be a leader in his group. He has to wear a tie everyday, which is very different, but he looks so nice:-) Right now his job has taken him to Korea for 2 weeks. We knew travel would be part of this position and I am so excited for the experiences it will offer him! As a lot of you know, I began a new adventure of working full time in the office of an elementary school in January. I haven't worked a full time job since Bethany was born, 13 years ago, and it has been quite an adjustment. I really do enjoy it and I'm loving the independence I'm already seeing in the kids. They are packing their lunches at night, getting themselves up in the mornings and making their own breakfasts. The best part of being at a school is that I'll have all their same vacations, so I really feel like I get the best of both worlds! I am not at Bekah's current elementary school, but she has said that she would like to come to my school next year, so that will be fun. The house is definitely coming along. I continue to feel so blessed to have such a beautiful home. It isn't quite what we imagined as far as having more space outside, but it's more than we could have imagined on the inside. So far we've been able to host Doug's dad and my mom and are looking forward to having Doug's mom and stepdad come in a couple weeks. We have lots of space for visitors, so just remember that our door is always open! As with any move, some things have been hard. The biggest thing for me is my nutrition and fitness. As a lot of you know, last year I made a huge leap in my personal nutrition and fitness and by July was in the best shape of my life. I had decided that I wanted to become a personal trainer and that is still a life goal that I have. Moving here, I still have yet to find my routine for working out. It might seem crazy, but it is a big point of sadness for me . I am absolutely determined to get back on track!!! I will have to keep you updated:-) We continue to miss our friends and family back in Washington tremendously!!! We love you all!!!